When I mention to people about my anxiety, I always have to mention that it’s a severe form of that I endure. As of recently, I have noticed that the term ‘anxiety’ is thrown around loosely. The words nervous and anxiety are very much similar in their meaning, and by many people, these terms are very equal. By that I mean not one of these emotions is greater than the other.
I suffer from severe anxiety and yes it is exactly as it sounds, mine is so severe that it caused me to stay inside my house for over a month. Even though I was keeping myself inside that didn’t stop the symptoms of anxiety from seeking in. You know how people feel sick in the stomach when they are about to go into an exam or in front of a crowd, and as soon as that person is out of the situation the troubling feelings disappear. It didn’t work for me, for a whole month I was in such pain and discomfort 24/7. All the misery I was going through 6 months ago, still comes and goes in my day to day life and it now just seems normal. I don’t think anyone could imagine themselves in my position from the past few months, they try to though but have you ever felt as though you’re struggling to breathe for months on end? Even right now as I am writing this, I feel as though my throat is becoming tighter and restricted, and I don’t know why, which causes my anxiety to deepen as it worries me that I forget something. I have been feeling so sick in the past months that I haven’t been eating, and I’m lucky enough to eat one meal a day. You might be asking if I ever felt hungry? And yes in the past few weeks I can feel myself starving, yet I don’t eat. This is because the feeling of being hungry is that grand that it overpowers the throbbing pain anxiety have in my stomach, and I much rather feel hungry for hours than feel sick.
When an extreme form of anxiety hits someone, it has the power to influence how one lives their life. I had to defer my university semester as I couldn’t attend any classes or lectures, and I cancelled on many planned events and catch-ups with family and friends, that were organised to be outside of my home as I would feel as though I would choke to death. You could think it’s strange or funny to that just going outside of my comfort zone was enough to make me experience the sensation of not being able to breathe, however, how would you cope with feeling like you’re slowing choking? You may also be thinking that the feeling of not being able to breathe is just in mind, and yes you would be correct, but anxiety can cause muscles within the body to tighten, it’s an approach the body takes to enhance one’s body to be resilient to possible threats. Your body goes into fight or flight mode.
You can’t say that anxiety is all in mind, that the feelings and emotions aren’t real, you can’t underestimate one’s condition when it’s not physically viewable. People who suffer from any mental illness are some of the strongest people around, as they have to battle against the monsters in their head and the majority of the time you wouldn’t even notice.
Until my next post