Everyone has a real self that only a small amount of people get to be in the presence in. When I had opened up about my struggles with my mental illness, I had many people shocked, along with thinking that I was overexaggerating. But I wasn’t, my anxiety and depression was a secret that only I knew. I didn’t let anyone see or be aware of my conditions; it was the thing that I kept behind my closed doors. But there are many other situations and difficulties that others choose to remain behind the doors of a safe haven
Home is where we are most ourselves, from lounging in our comfiest clothes to letting all our inner rage out; although to the extreme could show a portion of depression to abuse. Even though one may be invited into a house, doesn’t mean they get an authentic experience. The perfect example of this is when an individual is abusive to their partner. Even though family and friends would be inside the unstable environment, it is until the doors are closed off to the public, that one’s inner self is unleashed.
People still state that the parent who neglected and emotionally abused me is a good man, they are the same people that haven’t seen him behind closed doors. Though they believe that I am over dramatic of the situation, they weren’t present for the daily outbursts of anger. They hear the kind words he calls me in public like “little girl”, yet they didn’t hear me being called a “little bitch” before I was even a teenager.
If you are worried about your own safety or someone you know, don’t hesitate to get in contact with the right people.
This post is part of a series where I will be reflecting back to my younger self, and how my mental illness developed.