A significant belief in society is that if a person is being physically and/or emotionally abused by a partner, it is acceptable to leave the situation. Which often cuts the line of communication between the two and the victim can move forward with their life. However, if you apply the same scenario to a parent and their child, society can view the course of events for removing the child from the environment as unnecessary.
So why is it all right for someone to leave an abusive romantic relationship, but regrettable for a child or parent to withdraw themselves from an abusive blood relation?
There is an ideology that family sticks by and supports each other no matter what the situation is. Watch an interview with a murder’s mother, and hear her say that she still loves her child. It is as if there is a bond between them that can’t be broken, I know with my Mum that no matter how much we annoy each other, we will still be there for each other. But I know from experience, that not everyone has a perfect relationship with a parent.
Let’s look at a situation where it is abusive and disregard whether or not it is a parental or romantic relationship. Would you want to be continuously experiencing mistreatment and physical harm? I hope not. Doesn’t matter who is inflicting the abuse, the abuse can have a tremendous effect on victims; leaving physical and mental trauma.
In my situation, I am pressured to uphold a relationship with a parent by those who are spectators; the same parent that has caused permanent chronic mental illnesses that have impacted me in the past and will continue to do so in the future. In more ways than one, my mental illnesses have affected my lifestyle, wellbeing, physical and mental health, work, and education. Factors of my life that many people forget to realise was caused and will continue to be transformed by the same person they say I should continue a relationship with. Is persisting to correspond and communicate with an abuser consider as a form of self-harm?
Is persisting to correspond and communicate with an abuser consider as a form of self-harm? By consciously maintaining a relationship with an abuser, and allowing myself to be put my emotional state in an open target, am I placing myself in setting where my mental state can be tampered with?
If we look back at my first post of the Self-Harm & Self-Reflection Series, The Basics of Self-Harm, a form of self-harm can be the interference of the healing processes of a physical wound ( e.g. picking persistently at a specific spot). Apply this to my psychological wounds, and the intrusion, positioning myself to be easily targeted, it is identical. The type of wound, whether it be physical or psychological can be interchangeable, results in the same outcome; the wound is unable to be repaired.
Read more about mental illness, emotional and child abuse from professionals:
- Child Abuse Prepares for a Lifetime of Mental Health Issues
- Dynamics of Emotional Abuse in Relationships
- Emotional Abuse
There is so much to cover and understand about self-harm, that is why this post is apart of the 5-part series “Self-Harm & Self-Reflection” to provide insight, create awareness, and to interpret self-inflicted harm. Make sure you are subscribed to the blog, to ensure that you don’t miss a post!